If you have read my blog before, you would know that I have relocated around half a dozen times even before I had hit 21. Naturally, this had some benefits, but the first few days were mostly terrible. But no matter how I messed up at a location, I always got a chance to start afresh at the new location. However, the biggest nightmare for a child is to feel lonely. Having had to move so many times meant that by the time I made any friends in one place, I had to give it all up and move to another.
Like any normal kid, I have spent innumerable sleepless nights crying over having no friends and getting picked at new schools and new neighborhoods. But, I was smart enough to find a solution. After facing repeated failures and much trial and error, I have finally found the secret to making friends. And trust me, it can literally change your life. It doesn’t matter whether you are a kid or an adult. You will need these tips. So stay tuned and read ahead.
Do not ever break contact with old friends. If you do not have people with whom you can talk and share, you can become desperate for friendship. This will take you on a mindless hunt for friends at your new location, and more often than not, lead to disappointments. Everything takes time, and it will be some time before you forge friendships at the new location. So, try and keep in touch with old friends as much as possible, even after you make new ones.
Find yourself. No, this is not some useless crap about philosophy. I mean, find what you like, love or enjoy doing. It is easy to become friends with people who have similar interests. If you are good at a particular game, then you can join the school or a local team. If you enjoy exercising or working out, a gym would be a good place for both exercising as well as meeting new people.
Overcome your fear of rejection. Yes, it will happen. You will be turned down. It can happen on the first meeting or the tenth. People are complicated and behave in ways that are not always easy to understand. If someone snubs you, then ignore them and work towards finding new friends.
If you are in a job, you can’t afford to be lazy about making friends like you could have done in college. You don’t get to meet so many people on a regular basis on the job, and you will mostly interact with the same limited number of people. If you want to be friends with them, you have to approach them as early as possible in your new job. Talk about common interests, or even work related things in detail, until both of you become comfortable with each other. If you like talking to them, then don’t hide it. They deserve to know.